E-cyclopedia's glossary of 2003

Use the form at the bottom of the page to add any choice words you've picked up through the year.

ambifootrix - as used by an ITV commentator during the Rugby World Cup, referring to Jonny Wilkinson's ability to drop goals with both feet(Suggested by reader Mike, UK)

approximeeting - arranging to meet in a roughly-defined place at a rough time - the finer details can be sorted out when necessary via mobile phone

axis of weasel - those countries which led opposition to the war in Iraq, namely France, Russia, Germany and China; coined by a weblog and adopted by the mainstream media

Barker - as in Linda; annoying(Suggested by reader Marcus Pickett, UK)

Bennifer - shorthand media term for the on-off-on showbiz couple Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck(Suggested by reader Jo Brough, UK)

Bernard - anyone mildly ineffectual or comic, according to writer Richard Curtis, who has a character named after Tory MP Bernard Jenkin in everything he writes, from Blackadder to Love Actually

Bliar - epithet for Tony Blair among those who believe he lied in the run-up to the war in Iraq(Suggested by reader Stephen Fyles, UK)

bluejacking - sending an anonymous message from one Bluetooth-enabled handset to another(Suggested by reader Kat, UK)

bobfoc - body of Baywatch, face off Crimewatch; a person with an attractive body but an ugly face(Suggested by reader Minxie, UK)

car-rassment - how the government treats motorists, according to the Tories

cheese-eating surrender monkeys - stock epithet for the French in certain US circles, alluding to their culinary mores and distaste for military action; coined by Groundskeeper Willie in the Simpsons

Chelsea tractors - euphemism for four-wheel drive vehicles

Chelski - Chelsea Football Club, after its purchase by Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich(Suggested by reader Sam Tilakasiri, UK)

Chessex girls - posh society girls with un-posh tastes (eg fake tan and footie)

coalition of the willing - White House phrase for countries prepared to sign up to Iraq war, eg: US, UK, Spain, Australia, Italy

cohlinisation - having a normal name, but pronouncing it differently

complete Horlicks - Foreign Secretary Jack Straw's quaint verdict on the government's handling of the "dodgy dossier"

criminal invader enemies - US and UK forces, according to then Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf

data smog - too much information, a new entry in the OED

de-Baathification - process of persuading Iraqi society that the old regime is over

decapitation - the single bullet theory to conquering Iraq, whereby assassinating Saddam Hussein would have also killed off his regime and delivered instant victory to the coalition

desk-Yeti - similar to a desk monkey (someone who spends all day working) but rarer; in fact so rare they have never been seen

dodgy dossier - the name for the government report into Iraqi weapons which used a student's thesis

dogging - enjoying, either through interaction or observation, the love of two or more people in an open air environment: "Usually in like woods or car parks or summat - they do it all using the internet and that," says reader Paul Marcroft, England

embed - shorthand for a journalist living and travelling with coalition forces in Iraq

emotional hijack syndrome - condition suffered by then Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, according to psychologist Jane Fairbank

fauxmosexual - young, Beckham-like man, who in terms of grooming, style, sensitivity and culture appears to be gay, but actually sleeps with women(Suggested by reader Justin, UK)

flash mob - brief fad in the summer for spontaneous e-mail-organised groups to turn up somewhere, seemingly at random, and do a bizarre thing, then go back home to their computers

flatpack embassies - a UK plan to have everything needed to set up an embassy, such as desks, chairs, computers, food etc, stored in a container, ready to be deployed at short notice to a trouble spot anywhere in the world

freedom fries - US rebrand of French fries (Suggested by reader Kate, UK)

gallery zombies - people walking round galleries or museums wearing headphones for audio guides, and seemingly oblivious to everyone else around them

Granita moment - what the Tories needed to resolve their internal leadership difficulties, in which the leading players decided to let one person have a clear run

Governator - term for the new governor of California(Suggested by reader David, USA)

hammer time - start of war, as predicted by US Vice Admiral Timothy Keating. "Make no mistake, when the president says go - look out, it's hammer time"

idiocracy - the fooling classes(Suggested by reader Anthony Tomkins, UK)

intexicated - drunken text messages will be sent by the inebriated(Suggested by reader George, UK)

Iraqistan - the new US empire, according to the Economist

kinetic, going kinetic - military term for invading or bombing; shorthand for "kinetic targeting"

Kippers - kids in parents' pockets exhausting retirement savings(Suggested by reader Mick Waite, UK)

Mark 7 and 8 Mammal Marine Systems - dolphins, as used by Allied forces

mere doggerel - the insult "paki", according to one magistrate who ruled it was not criminally offensive; he was later overruled

merror - (pron me-ror, any reflective surface used by the vain to look at themselves(Suggested by reader Dave, UK)

metrocentric - a world view formed by limiting one's contact with current affairs to free newspapers(Suggested by reader Paul Torpey)

metrosexual - US term for fauxmosexual(Suggested by reader Stacey Scott, Minneapolis, USA)

moab - acronym either for "mass ordnance air blast" or, unofficially, "mother of all bombs"; specifically a 21,000lb bomb which is the largest non-nuclear bomb; also has Biblical associations

new Iraq - Tony Blair's goal for the shattered Middle East state

OBE-sity - the giving of honours to people with fat wallets(Suggested by reader Neil, UK)

old Europe - taken to mean France and Germany, as identified by US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

phishing - spammer's trick of sending out cod e-mails to online banking customers, purporting to be from the bank and asking for confirmation of passwords and PINs

political pawn - how David Beckham reportedly felt in the tussle of Spanish clubs trying to sign him

poxy moron - a person wearing a "happy to help" badge but who actually isn't anything of the sort (typically a zit-covered shop assistant who has no idea where anything is)(Suggested by reader A Greenwood, UK)

rate tart - borrowers who transfer their overdrafts from one interest-free offer to another

recreational assistant - politically correct term for drug dealer(Suggested by reader Julian, UK)

roadmap - initially the "plan" for peace in the Middle East, now used in business to mean any kind of plan(Suggested by reader Chris Cooke, UK)

safety cameras - what road safety campaigners have taken to calling speed cameras

self-dating - euphemism for masturbating, according to GB Trudeau's Doonesbury

self-styled - euphemism for unfunny, as in "Aaron Barschak, the self-styled comedy terrorist"

sexed-up - for ever more the phrase for making something seem more interesting or compelling than it actually is

shock and awe - Pentagon buzz-phrase for an initial no-holds barred air assault on Baghdad; later considered as a name for computer game

simultaneity - Pentagon buzzword referring to synchronised air and land assault on Iraq

Sitcom - single income, two children, oppressive mortgage. The fate of yuppies when they have children and one stops working to stay home(Suggested by reader Indy, UK)

ski-ing - spending the Kids' Inheritance

sneer television - programmes like Big Brother, according to social psychologists. It's "very good sneer television, and provides an opportunity for everyone to feel superior," said one

soft berets - sartorial code for UK forces in southern Iraq that embodies a non-confrontational approach to governing the region

spider-hole - place in which former dicatators of Iraq reside.(Suggested by reader Tim Saward, UK)

that country - France, according to UK ambassador to the UN, Jeremy Greenstock

tipping point - moment at which the regime in Iraq changes, according to US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

total politics - what Tony Blair does, according to former Tory leader IDS; a parallel with total fighting in which there are no rules

trilogitis - psychological condition associated with the conclusion of film trilogies(Suggested by reader Matt Korris, London, UK)

unknown unknowns - things we don't know that we don't know, according to US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld(Suggested by reader Terry Jarvis, England)

vertically envelop - Pentagonspeak for invading by helicopter

wargamed - simulated attack on Iraq, according to General William Wallace. "The enemy we're fighting is different from the one we wargamed against"

whatever - retort commonly uttered by 11-18 year-olds in response to parents' efforts at civilised conversation(Suggested by reader Nick Barnard, UK)

yellow bit, the - egg yolk, as coined by Jade in Celebrity Wife Swap(Suggested by reader Richard Carr, UK)